WE BRING MEN TOGETHER to TALK ABOUT LIFE through EXPLORATION OF BIG IDEAS.Online articles to spur self-reflection.
Digital resources to aid personal growth.
Local discussion groups to build friendships.
Online Articles
We provide thoughtful articles at the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and the arts. Some of the themes we explore are universal, while others are specific to the cultural conversation around masculinity. We ask big questions to support men in their pursuit of greater self-awareness and clarity of values. Follow our Substack to stay connected to the conversation.
Digital Resources
We provide guides for tools men typically only get in therapy. We distill concepts to support men looking to form new patterns and implement new behaviors that align with their values. Learn how your attachment style impacts your relationships. Better understand your family dynamics with a genogram. Map the negative cycle that plays out between you and your partner. Become a paid Substack subscriber for full access.
In-Person Groups
We facilitate local discussion groups led by trained leaders. There’s no posturing or competition, just casual but meaningful conversation with good dudes. A dependable community. 90 minutes, every other week, to help men feel a little less alone. Click here to find the group that works best for you.
“THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES WILL BE A DIRECT FUNCTION OF THE MAGNITUDE OF THE QUESTIONS WE KEEP ASKING … WE NOW HAVE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS ON OUR OWN BECAUSE THERE IS SO PRECIOUS LITTLE IN OUR CULTURE THAT DOES NOT ELEVATE THE BANAL, THE DISTRACTING, AND THE TRIVIAL, ALL OF WHICH ARE AFFRONTS AND DIMINISHMENTS OF THE SOUL."
James Hollis
A Typical Experience
You arrive at a local brewery and notice a table with with a Union Lodge placard. A small group has already started to gather. A man greets you with a handshake and introduces himself. You learn it’s the facilitator you’ve been emailing with throughout the week, and it’s good to put a face with a name. You tell him you’re going to grab a drink and rejoin the group. When you return you find a few men bonding over a niche tv show they both watch. You introduce yourself to a few guys and quickly learn your kids go to the same school.
The facilitator starts off with a welcome and quick review of group norms: be curious and encouraging, be honest not performative, etc. He asks for a quick round in introductions.
This week’s discussion is built around insights from Irvin Yalom’s Existential Psychotherapy, and specifically the idea of being responsible for our own lives. A article on the topic was made available the week before. Some guys went deep with it and explored the subject on their own. Some guys just skimmed the article. Both are fine, and the facilitator gives a brief overview before posing the opening question.
The discussion starts loose and philosophical. Light hearted debate about whether humans even have free will flows into reflection about how much decision-making is subconscious. Men share insights from various books they’ve read on the subject. One man talks about how his views have changed along with his religious convictions. Though earnest, the conversation is peppered with jokes and laughter.
The facilitator then brings the conversation down to the ground, asking the men to interact with a list of ways people avoid responsibility. The men talk about their fears, regrets, and guilt. They reflect on the ways depression can undermine hope and disappointment can lead to self-protection. As the conversation becomes more vulnerable the men lean in. At the ninety minute mark, the facilitator hits pause.
An invitation is extended to the show one guy’s band is playing later that week. Some of the guys close out their bill and head out. Some stick around a little longer, then decide to change locations and get some tacos. Later that night the text thread comes alive with guys sharing links to the books and standup comedy specials they’d mentioned in conversation. The next meeting is in two weeks. Same time, same place, new topic.
My name is Sean Mortenson. I’m a therapist (MS, MDiv, LPC) and the founder of Union Lodge. I sit with men (and their partners) everyday. I see the stress and the wounds they’re carrying. I see the problems they bring on themselves and their lack of tools to understand their own inner worlds, let alone share them with someone else. I see the tragic visions of masculinity capturing imaginations. I see therapy being reduced to absurd tropes. And I see men trying to navigate it all in isolation, partly because they’ve been told that’s what men do.
I’ve worked to create honest, healthy community for decades, as a pastor (in my former life) and now as a therapist. I’ve gained some hard earned wisdom in that time, challenging norms and navigating unhealthy systems. Union Lodge is an application of the lessons I’ve learned in response to a need I can’t ignore. There’s already a beautiful, in-person community forming around the vision. I invite you to be a part of it.
Whether you’d like to find a group that works for you, ask more questions about the vision, or become a financial supporter, send me an email at:
sean@union-lodge.com